We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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