Fine. I'll sleep in my office
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
