Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
These tits shall not be calmed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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