Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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