the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
