The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
