I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
