Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
