Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
