Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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