I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize