Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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