I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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