My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Small penises have feelings too.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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