So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
