Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
there was a trapeze. enough said
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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