Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
