I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
