maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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