I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
