I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
