So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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