1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
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I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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