The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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