Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
