But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well most of my day revolves around power hour
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
