You really coming over, don't trick.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
