It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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