Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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