I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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