does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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