He disabled his match.com account in front of me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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