I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
