plz talk dirty to me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
