It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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