i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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