I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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