I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize