I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
