He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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