Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize