I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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