I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
