He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
