So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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