were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize