lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home