party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?