This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
