i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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