the day after is always just damage control
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
