Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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