I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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