I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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