Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
