im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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