he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
