i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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