is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
