Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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