I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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