Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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