no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I forget how to act sober
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