I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize