His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i out mim tonsoeep
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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